for what

What for?

abducted

Somethings to keep in mind:
it's a pill and you've got to take it.
swallowed in an open field
with lights and centripetal forces...
winds like breathing and i'm aboard.
and with no escape in sight,
my bags hit the floor.

the middle ear

there are things i can't see.
they swish and gasp in the puddles of my inner ear.
slightly buzzing across the blood in my brain they are making waves that i can't ignore; that i feel in the back of my shoulder blades.
a nauseating tide that rises and falls so quickly i start from the tall grass and end in the middle of the ocean in seconds.
something has changed now. my inner ear is still. there is nothing struggling against gravity.
now, with my ears submerged in the deep salty blankets there are things i can't hear.
and all i see is an unsettling shade of refracted blue. no edges, no margins.
a reflection of a boy standing in front a mirror. a ghost in the skies.
and his stare is yours; made of the dark middles of hurricanes.

unbreakable orbits

aye, that's the rub.

the ghost of genova heights

The endless nights of Genova Heights. I had to leave. I had to leave.

-Stars @ the Pheonix, Toronto

A far cry from a prince...

Remember when i went away? Remember when i called you and cried into my end of the phone?
"Where is my little rose? Has the sheep got to her? The elements, maybe?" Surrounded by the unending beauty of the European countryside all I wanted was to be with my rose.
Now is not so different. I must return to you, my little rose. You have sent me messages from your end of the phone this time too, and you are also crying. You have described to me the sheep's suggestive glances. And now I am wondering if I forgot your glass bowl...
So i will fall into the sand as a tree does (without a sound).

I love you, my rose.
And I'm sorry I left your teddy on the underground.

Le Jour d'Avant- Yann Tiersen

get out

i keep blinking and it takes hours
there was something about living that i used to know quite well. i have forgotten it while blinking somewhere...
on the warm grass of the arbouritum; in between the edges of a most amazing home; in the heart of a man i am learning; in the backseat of a borrowed van listening to good-bye sounds and cries of "you're not ready yet"; in the last few rows of a movie theater; in this stale, helpless box with sadly hopeful faces looking on to where i will be; on a seat in the subway that i just didn't want to share...
so now all i can do is wrack my brain to try and find what piece fell out. it consumes me until i get back (to the top and i turn and i got for a ride)
and then my mind is a rubix cube upon completion; being set back on the shelf, done and waiting patiently to become confused again.

"you're not ready."
thanks brain, i think i'm finally okay with that.

(see simon: as a teddy bear without a map to the picnic)
(see annie: giving a fuck to stuart)